Super Smash Show
by Saiyoh
Summary: The Super Smash fighters are going to do a show here. Its like a theater, but really hilarious. Rated T for language. CHAPTER 6 & 7 up for a LABOR DAY SPECIAL
1. The Meeting

**Ch. 1 The Meeting**

Saiyoh (Head Director) : Sooooooo….does anyone here have any good ideas for a good show?

Captain Falcon: We should do an adventure story

Link: Filled with action!

Ike: With a lot of swordfights!

Marth: And pirates!

Ike: Huh?

Peach: How about a romance? Those are very lovely?

Samus: Ugh, no way.

Peach: C'mon, it's going to be fun.

Ganondorf: What about love-comedy series?

Link: You're the last person I should hear that from.

Luigi: A Drama, like Romeo & Juliet or Hamlet!

Bowser: That actually sounds like a great idea.

Luigi: Really?

Bowser: Hell No! Burn! A horror movie is much better!

Olimar: That's really not a good idea.

Pokemon Trainer: What about another Pokemon adventure? How bout it Pikachu?

Pikachu: …(_shocks the Pokemon Trainer into a burnt crisp_)

PK Trainer: I'll..take…that…as a no, bleh.

Zelda: A fairy tale where the prince comes to the princess's rescue.

Mario: Been there, done that for more one that for more than 30 times!

Peach: Hmph!

R.O.B: Let's do an educational program where we can teach readers about the amazing wonders and nature of the world.

Everybody:……………………

R.O.B.: Bunch of idiotic humans.

King Dedede: We should do a musical with singing and dancing.

Pit: Kind of like Grease or High School Musi-

(_King Dedede smacks Pit with his hammer. Pit falls unconscious_.)

Solid Snake: I don't care what you guys do (_Snake pulls out a cigarette and a lighter, and he starts to smoke_.) I just want to shoot something.

Lucas: Like a movie?

Solid Snake: (_pulls out a handgun and points it at Lucas_) Not even close. Hey that gives me a great idea.

Lucas: (_shivering in fear_) w-w-what?

Solid Snake: A movie, in a big city where political leaders are corrupted, the mobs controls the police, and the criminals rule the world, it takes one man to put everything back into place. That man would be me.

Samus: Hey you can't be lead in a movie. I want to be the hero in the movie.

Solid Snake: You can't cause you're just a girl.

Samus: (_Looks super pissed_) Care to say that agai-.

Solid Snake: Look over there a dinosaur with wings.

Samus: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIDLEY!! DIIIIEE- hey wait a minute. That's just a Yoshi with wings.

Yoshi: YOSHI!

Samus: Now, Where was I…….Where the hell did he go?

(_A large cardboard box is seen shuffling away_)

Fox: Uhmmm….Falco and I suggest that we should do a comedy sitcom. It's about a show where two guys live together in an apartment and have crazy adventures in real life.

Ness: Okay, but what about us?

Falco: You guys can just be minor characters. Except for Zelda, she can be the sexy girl next door.

Zelda: Pikachu, please zap Falco.

Pikachu: Pi-ka-CHUUUUU!! (_electrocutes Falco into a burnt crisp_)

Zelda: There we go; it's going to be a cooking show. Here's the main dish Burnt Falco.

Kirby: Yay (_Tries to suck up Falco, but he starts running away_) T.T

Wario: How much are we getting paid to do this?

Wolf: I think it depends on the how good this show is, but I'm pretty sure with the way things are going, we're not getting paid for sure.

Wario: Damn! I knew I should've stayed in the gaming business.

Roy: Ooh! Ooh! Can I be a ninja?

Mario: For what reason?

Roy: This! (_Takes out a long sword_)

Marth: (_Charges at Roy with a gun and a saber_) Pirates vs. Ninja Battle!

Ike: This is ridiculous (looks at everyone with pirate and ninja costumes) ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?

Saiyoh: Did you get the memo that today is dress-like-a-pirate-or-ninja-and-battle-it-out day?

Kirby: Arrgghhhh!!

Link: NIN NIN!!

Ike: Fine (_puts on a eye patch_) argh.

Peach: Wait a minute! We are getting off topic here guys. We still haven't thought of an idea for the show.

Link: Then it's settled. We are doing an action/adventure.

Peach: No, we're doing a romance series.

Luigi: Can we put in drama with that?

Bowser: No way. We are going to put on the scariest horror/thriller. You can die first.

Ganondorf: Why don't you die first. We are doing a badass love/comedy series.

Bowser: Shut the hell up, girly boy!

Snake: (_Pops out of his cardboard box_) What about my movie idea?

Samus: There the hell you are! Man, that thing is really confusing.

PK Trainer: I got it! Another Pokemon movie, how bout it Lucario?

Lucario: (_Aura blasts him into a burnt crisp_) 3 was enough, but 11 was too much.

Meta Knight: Aren't they making another one in Japan?

Pk Trainer: Yay!

Lucario: Who cares. I'm not going to be in it. Haha.

Fox: What about our comedy sitcom that's going to air every Monday night?

Wolf: What happened to the interview with FOX?

Fox: Apparently they shot us down, literally. They shot a gun at us telling us that our idea wasn't good enough.

Wolf: Damn, that's harsh.

Fox: Well, that's FOX for you! Ba-Bump-Ch!

Everybody:……

Zelda: I'm sorry, but that was really awful. They should've at least shot you in the head.

(_Fox goes into a corner sulking into depression_)

Wario: If you want to make a lot of money, especially for me, we start a reality tv show. Everybody fights for to win and make bets on each person. The winning fighter gets….uhm….something other than money.

Pit: Is the prize the spirit and pride of winning?

Wario: Uhm..yeah…sure spirit or whatever blah, blah,blah.

Ness: That doesn't sound very convincing.

(_Sonic comes racing into the meeting_)

Sonic: Sorry I was late. Apparently, I thought I was in the right city, but then I realized I was on another planet. Don't ask why. So, what'd I miss?

Everyone:…

Saiyoh: We're thinking of ideas for a show.

Sonic: Hmmm…did anyone thought of being an Anime show?

Everyone: !

Snake: Hey! That's my line.

Mario: It sounds really weird and awkward to do an Anime.

Sonic: You didn't even try it.

Mewtwo: I have an idea

(Everybody stares intensely at Mewtwo)

Mewtwo:……………………………..a novel.

(Everybody falls to the ground, Anime style)

Sonic: Kind of like that.

Zelda: I still like my cooking show.

Falco: Why!? So you can cook every animal in this room

Zelda:………………………….no.

Falco: Hey, what's with that long pause.

Saiyoh: This is still getting pretty annoying guys.

Wolf: Then it's settled we're doing poetry. (_Wolf snaps his fingers_)

Bowser: Who the hell wants to do a poem! Horror is the best idea

Peach: No romance is!

Bowser: HORROR!

Peach:ROMANCE!

Link: ADVENTURE!

Luigi: DRAMA!

Ganondorf: CHICK FLICKS!

Zelda: COOKING SHOW!

PK Trainer: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

King Dedede: MUSICAL!

Wolf: POETRY!

Wario: MONEY!

Sonic: ANIME!

Yoshi: YOSHI!

R.O.B: EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM!

Captain Falcon: FALCOOO-PUNCH!

Pikachu: PIKA-CHU!

Marth: PIRATES!

Roy: NINJAS!

Ike: SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT!

Ness: WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Lucas: I DON'T KNOW, BUT WE'RE ALL ANGRY DAMMIT!

Fox: A COMEDY SITCOM ABOUT TWO GUYS AND A HOT GIRL NEXT DOOR LIVING EVERYDAY LIVES IN A MANSION (_heavily breathes in_) BUT ACTUALLY THE WHOLE SETTING IS IN SPACE AND IS IN A MIDDLE OF A FEUD WITH THEIR ALIEN NEIGHBORS (_breathes in again_) IT SHOWS EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT ON THIS SHOW.

(_Everybody goes silent. A brick was thrown at Fox from out of nowhere) CLONK_!

Everybody is angry right now. They all stare at each other with vicious glare. The atmosphere of the room is filled with immense hatred for each other. The tension is so sharp that it can cut a phone book in half cleanly

Mario and Luigi charge their hands with two large fireballs. Link, Roy, Ike, Marth, and Meta Knight draw out their swords. Fox, Wolf , Falco get their laser guns out. Samus charges her cannon to 100 maximum power. Peach gets out her golf stick and tennis racquet. Zelda transforms into Sheik, waving her chain around. Sonic turns golden and spiky. Lucario builds up his aura into full power. Pikachu gets his tail ready shocking anyone in his way. Pit takes out his bow and readies his magical arrow. Bowser brings out his sharp claws, and he's going to charcoal someone soon. Ganondorf takes out a fan with the words 'Love and Peach' written on it. Diddy Kong has two peanut gun, while Donkey Kong had two bananas in his hand. Wario starts eating a clove of garlic. Snake takes out a hug grenade launcher out of nowhere. King Dedede has a Waddle Dee in his hand with the intent to kill someone with it, while the PK Trainer has a Pokeball in his hand with the intent of catching someone with it. Kirby takes out a frying pan. Captain Falcon is gonna Falco Punch into the sky. Lucas and Ness take out their bats and yoyos.

Yoshi starts to chew a piece of gum. Mewtwo backs up away from the crowd. R.O.B. charges his laser beam.

All is quiet with everyone. The first shot could seriously start a blood fest. The tension of the room was more deadly than before. Everyone is eager to start off a smash war in here.

What could be done to avoid this tragedy?

Saiyoh: I got the best idea, yet!

Everybody: (_Stares at Saiyoh menacingly_) WHAT!?

Saiyoh: Let's do it all

Everybody: Huh?

Saiyoh: Let's take everyone's idea and use it for the show.

Peach: That sounds like a great idea

Bowser: So, what are we going to name the show?

King Dedede: It has to be something of somewhat interest

Lucas: It's gotta be cool.

Samus: with something related to the story.

Saiyoh: I got it! We are going to call this "Super Smash Show!"

Everyone:…….that's it.

Saiyoh: It was either this, or "A Smashing Good Time"

Everybody: We all like it.

Saiyoh: Ok then, meeting is over!

* * *

**A/N: This has got to be my best chapter, so far. This is going to be an every genre show with mostly comedy and parody of the anything that comes to my mind. Also, feel free to suggest anything for the next chapter. So, expect next chapter soon. Next Chapter: Adventure/Action.**


	2. ActionAdventure

**Ch. 2 Action/Adventure**

(Godzilla)

"A huge monster was last seen at the bay of NYC." said news reporter Zelda. "Some sources say that it's more than 100 feet tall. I'm going in the middle of the city to catch a glimpse of the monster."

A shadow suddenly covered the news van and the streets. Up above a monster was creeping behind the news team. "Oh…my…god! IT'S BOWS-ZILLA!!"

Bows-zilla was about to breathe fire on the whole street. Suddenly, something exploded on the back of his head. A whole squad of fighter helicopters covered the monster's path.

"We got you know, Bows-zilla." said Captain Falcon. "Got it from behind, Fox"

"Roger that, captain." responded Fox. A series of missiles were released from Fox's helicopter, but Bows-zillablasted the missiles withfireballs coming from his mouth. The monster then ran away.

"Damn it!" yelled Captain Falcon. "Follow him."

The monster outran the squad of helicopters, but they kept hitting him with more missiles and heat-seeking missiles. "Heh heh, Got you know, you bastard."

Captain Falcon ran into a street, but no monster. "I lost him."

"How the hell could you lose a monster that's barely hard to miss." yelled Fox. "Maybe, he went through the other stre-"

Suddenly, Bows-zilla jumped through a huge building, surprising the squad. He swiped his claw, destroying Fox and two other helicopters.

"Nooooooo, Fox."

Then, Bows-zilla unleashed a whole lot of fire on to the remaining fighter pilots.

* * *

(Jurassic Park)

Roy was in his jeep waiting for Peach and Ness. Suddenly, a small ripple was made in his glass of water. _Thump_! It did it again, but this time the ripple got bigger. The rumble grew louder and louder.

"EVERYONE GET BACK INTO THE JEEP!" yelled Roy.

Peach and Ness were shocked at what was coming out of the fog. A huge green dinosaur came walking in closer and closer to the jeep.

"Th..th…that's..a…a…Y…Y..YOSHI-SAURUS!" yelled Peach.

Roy looked behind at how close the Yoshi was, inches away from the jeep. "Oh…my…god."

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR!!"

* * *

(The Godfather)

(_A man is seen in an underlitoffice in front of the desk, while another person was smoking a cigar, looking at him with a dark face_.)

"Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first." said the man with the cigar.

"I had no choice. I wanted justice. What do you want of me? Tell me anything, but do what I beg you to do."

"Luigi, I cannot agree to this request."

"I will give you anything you ask" desperately cried Luigi.

"We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you ever came to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee. But let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt."

"I didn't want to get into trouble."

"I understand. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend like me. Until the court didn't give you what you wanted when your daughter was tortured by that criminal. He only received 3 years. But uh, now you come to me and you say 'give me justice.' But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you, uh, ask me to do murder for money.

"I ask you for justice"

"That is not justice. Your daughter is still alive."

"Let them suffer then, as she suffers. How much shall I pay you?"

"Luigi, Luigi. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."

"Be my friend, Godfather Dedede" said Luigi as he kissed Don Dedede's fin.

"Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

"Grazie Godfather." Said Luigi

"Prego."

* * *

(Ghostbuster)

"Now choose the form of the destructor." bellowed the voice of Mewtwo.

"Everybody, clear your minds. Don't think of anything" yelled Snake to his teammates.

Link, Marth, Ike, and Snake-the Ghostbuster tried their best to do so. Until, Mewtwo said "The form of the destructor has been chosen. It has come." Everyone was surprised.

"What do you mean? We didn't choose anything!" yelled Ike "Did you, Snake?"

"No"

Then they looked at Marth. "Hey, don't look at me, my mind was blank."

All eyes were on Link. He grew silent like he was caught. "I couldn't help it. It just popped in my mind."

"What? What popped in there?" questioned Ike

"Look!"

A huge pink blob was slowly walking through the streets of New York City. Each step made a tremendous shake to the whole city. Cars came crashing and people came screaming from the monster.

Link was shocked beyond belief. "It's…It's….It's Kirby!"

Everyone was surprised by the pink blob walking towards them. It had a happy face with his huge eyes looking at them.

"Now there's something you don't see everyday." remarked Marth.

"I was trying to think of the most harmless thing…something that could never destroy us…something from my childhood that I loved."

"AND YOU CAME UP WITH THAT!" yelled Ike.

The huge Kirby came stepping on many cars, destroying anything in his path. Many people were feared by the monster and ran away with their lives.

"Great! Now a loveable and cute Kirby is going to destroy the whole city." said Snake.

* * *

(MacGyver)

PK Trainer (let's call him Red) was captured by Team Rocket. He was stuck in the middle of a building. Tied to the back of the chair and also hand tied together behind it, Red was hopeless in a situation like this. He needed Pikachu to electrocute and burn the rope off of him, but there was a problem. His Pikachu was in a container that conducts electricity. His Pikachu was 10 feet away from him on the floor. Help was impossible, but Red wouldn't give up.

Little did Team Rocket know, Red was really conservative. Red had a piece of bubblegum, an empty pokeball, a credit card, and his hat. There was a gasoline tank right by him. Red concentrated on what to do in a situation like this. Just then Red had an idea.

Red reached his cuffed hands to the side of his back pocket to get his wallet. He reached for a couple of bills and a credit card. He used the edged of the chair to make the credit card into a sharp item. Moments later, he used the sharp credit card to cut the rope cuffed around his hands. He got his hands free, but to his luck he dropped the card and it fell away out of reach. Now, he just lost the tool for his freedom. Red had to rethink his strategy. He decided to check his pockets for an idea. He was so stressed; he took the gum and started to chew it. An idea has just crossed his mind.

Red had took his gum and and stuck it in the gasoline tank. Now the gum was full of gasoline. He had one chance to stick it on Pikachu's glass container. He threw the wad of gum, and it stuck on. The gum landed in the middle of the glass. He then kicked the gas tank. It spilled towards Pikachu's container. When the leak hit the glass, Red cracked the pokeball until it made a spark. He threw the broken pokeball into the gasoline spill.

Instantly, a lake of fire was created which led to pikachu's container surrounding it. Time was at stake. The lake of fire also reached to a bunch of tanks of oxygen. Soon, the entire warehouse would explode. Normally, it would burn at the bottom trapping Pikachu, but with the gum on fire, it burned the glass and melted it away. Pikachu tackled the glass hoping for it to break. The oxygen tanks were heating up. Pikachufinally broke the glass and instantly electrocuted Red's ropes. Red finally got out and ran out of the warehouse with Pikachu as fast as they can. As the two finally got out, the whole place was blown up to the sky.

Red got up from the explosion and shouted at the top of his lungs, "I AM MACGYVER!!"

* * *

(After the Show)

Ike: That was a good show guys. Man, I didn't know computer animation can make Kirby, Yoshi, and Bowser so huge.

Bowser: What do you mean 'computer animation?' We just ate a mushroom.

Ike: If that wasn't computer animation, then how did Captain Falcon and Fox survive that helicopter explosion?

Bowser: Wait a minute! There were actual people in the helicopters.

(_Somewhere in the middle of New York City, Capt. Falcon and Fox are seen lying in the wreckage_)

Captain Falcon:…Damn…this sucks.

Fox:….I know.

* * *

**A/N: So, what did you think? This is a parody show, but mostly turned into my version of it. Any ideas are welcome. Don't worry if I didn't mention some other good adventure movies, probably some more action in later chapters. Thanks for the MacGyver idea, StonerPikachu. Next chapter: Comedy.**


	3. Comedy

**Chap 3. Comedy**

(Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

"You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight." Said Meta Knight

Ganondorf remains silent.

"I am King Meta Knight, King of Dreamland."

"…"

"I seek the finest and bravest of men to join me in my court of Camelot. You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?"

"…"

"You make me sad. So be it." As Meta Knight tries to pass him, Ganondorf points a sword at him

"None shall pass."

"What?"

"NONE SHALL PASS!" said Ganondorf in a louder tone.

"I command you, as the kind of Dreamland, to step aside"

But Ganondorf replied, "Then you shall die."

"So be it." Meta Knight drew out his sword and battled with him. He swung his sword at him, but Meta Knight dodged him and sliced his left arm off.

"Now stand aside, worthy adversary."

"'Tis but a scratch."

"A scratch!?" cried Meta Knight. "Your arm's off."

"No it isn't."

"Well then, what's that?" said Meta Knight as he pointed at Ganondorf's severed left arm on the ground.

"I've had worse."

"You liar!"

* * *

(Austin Powers)

"Dr. Link. While you were frozen, we took your some of your DNA and made a clone of you."

A much younger and more cartoony version of Dr. Link appeared before him.

"I shall call him….MINI-ME!" cried Dr. Link.

* * *

(Stranger than Fiction)

Samus was an organized woman. She would feel at ease waking up every morning, but today was a bit different.

"Who said that?" Said Samus.

She would get up at exactly 6:00 am every morning, but she woke up at 6:30 am today.

"Wait a minute, how do you know this? Who's talking? Where are you? Are you some stalker?"

After going to the bathroom, she was really out of it that she forgot to wash her hands. How unhygienic of her.

"Hey! I don't need your criticizing."

Realizing her mistake, Samus ran back to wash her hands.

"Hey stop talking."

Samus was the only woman to work in the office. She would get her work done on time, but today she felt confused and hopeless like a total loser.

"Because of you, goddamit!" screamed Samus at the top of her lungs.

* * *

(Napoleon Dynamite)

"Hey Mario." said Samus. "What are you drawing?"

"A liger"

"What's a liger?"

"It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic."

"…."

"….Gosh" said Mario.

* * *

(Dogdgeball: A True Underdog Story)

Peach punches Wario away from him. Wario is surprised to see blood draping down from his nose.

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY!" said Wario.

* * *

(Rush Hour)

(_Ganondorf finally meets detective Pit from Hong Kong_)

"Please tell me you speak English. I'm Detective Ganondorf. Do you speaka any English? DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND-THE-WORDS-THAT-ARE-COMING-OUT-OF-MY-MOUTH?"

Pit remains silent. "I cannot believe this SHIT! First I get a bullshit assignment, now Mr. Rice-a-Roni don't even speak American."

* * *

(Talladega Knights)

After the racecar crashes, Roy gets out of the vehicle. "AUUGGHHH! I'M ON FIRE."

"No, you're not. You're just fine." said his crew chief.

Roy strips out of his uniform, only in his underpants. "HELP ME JESUS, HELP ME TOM CRUISE. AUUUGGHHHHH!"

* * *

(Shrek)

"Sonic, what are you doing here?" yelled Lucario

"Don't worry. We can stay up, watch movies... I'm making waffles." said Sonic as he was jumping on the couch.

"OUT!"

* * *

(After the show)

Lucas: Ummmmm….Ganondorf.

Ganondorf: Yes Lucas.

Lucas: There's a lot of blood coming out where your left arm should be.

Ganondorf: Haha, don't worry young fellow. This doctor I'm going to can fix anything.

(At the doctor's office)

Ganondorf: Hey doc, can you reattach my arm?

Dr. Mario: You know I'm not a doctor. I just dress like one.

Ganondorf: So, can you still fix this?

Dr. Mario: I'm no surgeon, but I can still give you a prescription of Vitamin C and a lollipop.

Ganondorf: Oh, ok then……………..OH MY GOD, THIS HURTS LIKE HELL! HOLY F#in SH#T! MY ARM'S OFF! OH, THE TRAGEDY! AUUGGGHHHH! THIS REALLLY HURTS! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! HELP ME JESUS, HELP ME TOM CRUISE!

**A/N: Another chapter done, reviews are welcome, suggestions are free. Next Chapter: Romance.**

**Also, school's coming up, so that means I can't update this often, but the show must go on.**


	4. Romance

**Ch. 4 Romance**

(Titanic)

"Don't leave me Marth." said Zelda. They were in the Atlantic Ocean after the Titanic sank. Zelda was holding Marth's so he can stay alive. "I love you."

"It's going to be okay." Said Marth. "So…If we survive this, can I still draw you more naked pictures of you?"

Zelda then immediately punched Marth in the face. He then sank to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. "I can't believe I let that pervert draw me naked."

* * *

(Brokeback Mounatin)

Ike: I'm sorry, but I'm not going to do this. And why are we doing just the sex scene? It's really absurd!

Peach: Oh c'mon. You have to do it. This is a romance chapter.

Marth: Yeah, I have to totally agree with him. This is just not my thing.

Peach: The fans will just love it. Please?

Ike: I'm leaving

Peach: Just a kiss?

Ike: NO!

Peach: Damn.

* * *

(Romeo and Juliet)

Nana: Romeo, where for art thou Romeo.

Popo: I am here for you Lady Juliet

Nana:……..

Popo: What seems to be the problem Lady Juliet

Nana: I totally forgot what to lines. I mean c'mon. This is hard stuff for a elementary school kid like me to memorize.

Popo: Wannna just skip this and just go get some ice cream.

Nana: You bet! (_She jumped off the balcony and into Popo's hands, and they rode off into the sunset to a better place, like the ice cream shop_)

* * *

(Fever Pitch)

Peach: Damn It Mario! You haven't taken me out anywhere. So what's it gonna be, me or your stupid baseball games?

Mario: Sorry, but I'm in love with baseball.

Peach: (_She hits Mario with a baseball bat_) You're right! Baseball is fun.

* * *

(Brokeback Mountain Part 2)

Peach: Marth and Ike won't do it. How about you guys?

Roy and Link: HELL NO!

Peach: Snake?

(_Snake snaps Peach's neck and walks off_)

* * *

(Mr. & Mrs. Smith)

The married couple are in a room talking to the reporter

Reporter: So, when you both knew about each other being super spies. What did you do?

Snake: I didn't know at first, but she tried to kill me first.

Sheik: It was only company policies. Snake here tried to kill me with his grenade launcher. That could almost wake the neighbors.

Snake: Oh and your machine gun wouldn't wake up the neighbors.

Reporter: Now that you're back together, do you still work for your agencies.

Snake: We still work for the company

Reporter: But, doesn't that mean you guys are enemies

Snake: We're a married couple. We don't do unnecessary things like that.

(_In one-on-one conversations with the reporter_)

Snake: But in truth, yeah I want to kill her, so I poisoned her coffee this morning

Sheik: (_In another room_) I still want to kill him, so I switched the cups this morning

Snake: (_slurp_)

* * *

(Brokeback Mountain part 3)

Peach: I asked all the guys and I was wondering if you could do it.

Sheik: Ummm…Peach…..I'm a woman.

Peach: PFFFTTT..yeah right

Sheik: Peach, it's me Zelda

Peach: PFFFTTTT…are you kidding me? She's the weakest fighter ever. Next you're gonna tell me that robot Samus is actually a girl inside.

Sheik:…..

Peach: Ooh, I have a great idea. You can kiss that Samus guy.

Sheik:….This is hopeless. I'm leaving

Peach: Hey, come back here.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah…anything goes in here. I'm sorry if it's short. I'm not into romantic movies or chick flicks.**


	5. Taking a Break

**Ch. 5 Taking a Break**

Mario: That was pretty good show so far guys.

Bowser: Have to admit, that was a really great show.

Ike: Can't believe we covered the 3 main genres: action, romance, an comedy.

Snake: I truly thought that it was going to fail like some 'Game Over.' but I was wrong.

Ness: Is that all? Are we done for those genres? I kind of wanted to do more Comedy stuff.

Capt. Falcon: Ha ha! Don't worry little fella. We can do more, but we have to do other projects. There are more great ideas than anyone can think of by themselves. Like most directors say, "The show must go on."

Samus: That's really deep. Didn't know you were so poetic.

Capt. Falcon: Yeah, I read it off some fortune cookie.

Samus:……….idiot.

Zelda: So what plans do we have next?

Saiyoh: I kind of wanted to take a short bre-

Peach: (_whacks the director with a golf club. The director is unconscious and in a bloody mess_)

Luigi: What the hell did you do?

Peach: We have to think of an idea for a show. I know everyone of you wants to be a star. Taking breaks are for wimps and losers. Are you a loser, huh Luigi?

Luigi: No.

Peach: Ok then, I'll be head director for now.

Link: Hey! Why do you get to be director?

Peach: Beacause Saiyoh handed the responsibilities to me.

Samus: What do you mean? You just conked him on the head. It's obvious I should be leader. With my strong personality and leadership skills, we can make this show better than it used to be.

Peach: What are you talking about? You're just some girl in a robot suit. Without that, you're just a useless woman in her silly spandex outfit. I sho-

(_Samus pounces Peach and beats the crap out of her_)

(Minutes later)

Samus: So Peach, what have we learned today?

Peach: (_all bruised up and bandaged_) It's not good to call someone names.

Samus: And?

Peach: Also, spandex is not silly, it's very fashionable.

Samus: Damn straight.

Marth: Let's drop out the leadership thing. We should decide on future works.

King Dedede: Hey everyone. I was thinking. This whole 'King Dedede' thing is kind of old and medieval. I was thinking of a more appropriate title. For example, how does 'Don Dedede' sound?

Everyone:……….

Link: Wow, this show is really going into his head.

Ganondorf: Hey, the 'Don' thing sounds cool.

Bowser: I know. It's kind of catchy.

Ike: JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!

Wario: Why? We're just too damn lazy to think of anything.

Pit: If we try hard enough, we could be the best show ever.

Red: So let's buckle down and start working.

(30 minutes later)

Marth:….so I went to the mall the other day, but I was taken to prison just because I carried a sword. I mean, what if there were some villains.

Meta Knight: I know what you mean, man.

Marth: Really?

Meta Knight: Yeah. I was at an amusement park to ride the fastest ride there, but the man was like I had to be taller than 5 feet.

Lucas: I know. What a harsh world we live in. They should make the sign a lot shorter.

All the little people: We totally agree.

Marth: Wait a minute! That doesn't even relate to my problem.

Peach: Hey Samus, Zelda, and Nana. Wanna hit the mall later.

Zelda: Is there a sale at American Eagles?

Peach: Yeah!

Samus: Then count me in.

Nana: Yay! The mall!

Link: EVERYBODY STOP!!

(All eyes were on Link)

Link: This is hopeless guys. I mean c'mon, we have an audience to perform for here guys. Look, we can't have everyone goofing off into whatever you guys do. We just have to concentrate to-

Ness: Guys, Saiyoh is still bleeding a lot from the head.

Peach: OH MY GOD! I KILLED SOMEONE!

Snake: He was a brave soldier. Saiyoh will be dearly missed………...…I call director.

Samus: No! Wait! Damn!

Lucas: Wait….he's still breathing.

Snake: Damn!

Samus: Heh, thought you could pull a fast one.

Luigi: Isn't there a doctor in the house?

Mario: Don't worry! I pretended to be one. Move aside everyone! (_places a fake stethoscope over his heart_) Yes…yes….i….see.

Fox: Soooooo……………..watsup doc.

Everyone:……………………………

Falco: That was uncalled for Fox. Just leave here.

(_Fox left the building_)

Zelda: So what seems to be the problem?

Mario: Well, I think……..probably………….yes maybe………well……not for sure………………the injury was caused by the blow to the head...and he also had cancer.

Everyone:…………………………………

Sonic: You are the most useless doctor ever.

Mario: Hey! Didn't the words 'pretended' mean anything to you?

Sonic: Why did you volunteer when someone else could help him?

Mario: Well then why don't you do it then?

Pit: STOP THE MADNESS! IT'S TEARING US APART !! (_sobbing really loudly_)

Marth: There there Pit. It's going to be all right. (_hugs Pit to calm him down_). Pit's right. We should really do something about that bleeding head.

Lucas: We have to take him to the hospital.

Zelda: There isn't a hospital anywhere nearby.

Capt. Falcon: Let's use my ship

Red: Ummmmm….Falcon. Before the meeting, I actually took your ship for a test flight, but I don't know how to tell you this.

Capt. Falcon: What did you do, Red?

Red: Well, one thing led to another, yada, yada, yada. There's a dead hooker in the trunk of your car.

Capt. Falcon:……………………………

Everyone:………………………………

Ness:……….What's a hooker?

Lucas: Maybe it's some type of fisherman.

Snake: I'll tell you kids about it later, but now is not a good time.

Capt. Falcon:………….words just can't express my feelings right now.

Red: So sorry.

Peach: Then, what are we going to do about Saiyoh.

Falco: We can still take my ride.

Lucario: You mean your plane with your military symbol.

Falco: Yeah! That's the one.

Lucario: Fox just flew off with it 5 minutes ago.

Falco: DAMMIT FOX!! How am I supposed to get back to base.

Ike: More importantly, how are we going to take him to a hospital?

Pit: I think I might have a solution.

Ike: What might that be, Pit?

Pit: We don't take him…..we bury the body.

Everyone: !

Bowser: That's…that's….what happened to you, Pit?

Pit: No one has to know, it's going to be our little secret.

Zelda: Won't his family find out?

Pit: We just gonna have to lie about it.

Sonic: This is ironic!

Wario: I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS MUCH PRESSURE! (_jumps out the window and runs away_)

Peach: We have to do something else.

Pit: Like what? Let him die here and have the blame put on you. Is that how you want your life to be? Not a star, but a prisoner.

Peach:……..

Pit: I thought so.

Ike: Everyone, calm down. Saiyoh is not dead, yet. We can still fix him up if we jus-

Mario: He's dead

(_The room suddenly goes quiet_)

Peach: (_depressed and crying a lot_) I…killed…a man.

Link: And we didn't even bother helping him.

Ganondorf: We're terrible people.

Pit: I guess we have no choice. (_prays for him. Everyone else follows his actions_)

The room goes silent, as if some secret was hidden away from the outside world. One by one everyone grabs a shovel and takes Saiyoh away into the back. Each dig into the ground was heartbreaking to them. Peach couldn't get herself to do this. This was a dark day indeed. A day where a director has fallen, a day a pact of secrets was formed, a day that no one will forget is today.

Mewtwo: Everyone, I really don't think Saiyoh is dead.

Everyone: WHAT!

Mewtwo: I think that there is a chance that he's still a-LIVE FROM NEWYORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

The audience cheers for the great performance these actors have shown.

**A/N: Not dead, but like what a fortune cookie told me, "The show must go on." Next Chapter: Horror/Thriller. Also, school started and I won't be updating alot, at best, once a week**


	6. Horror

* * *

(Before the Show)

Link: Does anyone know what happened to Saiyoh? It's been 13 days since a new update.

Peach: Maybe he died or something.

Link: Yeah right, next thing you'll know he's alive, but a zombie.

Luigi: Zombies and ghosts are real. Trust me, I know.

DK: Haha, you're hilarious. Like Saiyoh is going to bust through that door, like a zombie

(_Saiyoh busts down the door, like a zombie_)

DK: OH MY GOD! EVERYBODY RUN!!

Luigi: He's going to eat our brains!

Peach: Noooo, I need my brain for gossiping.

Link: I need mine for fighting.

DK: I need mine for...uh...duh...you know what...never mind.

Saiyoh: Everyone settle down. I'm not a zombie. Just really tired.

Peach: Of what?

Saiyoh: School

Everyone: Ouch.

Saiyoh: But for today, I'm going to do 2 chapters for everyone that's still my fans

Everyone: Hooray!

**Ch.6 Horror/Thriller**

(The Sixth Sense)

Link: Tell me what you see

Luigi: I..I…I see dead people.

* * *

(Frankenstein)

Mario lifted the body up above the ceiling into the night and stormy sky. He had this chance to get an electric shock to the body. Suddenly, the lightning hit the body. Mario quickly lowered the board to see the results of his experiment

There it was, a huge figure, taller than the average man. He had bolts coming out of his head. Many stitches and cuts were found all over him. He had a pale face. Minutes after the shock, the body just lied there. Suddenly, the hand slightly twitched. Then, the whole right arm slowly lifted itself.

"Yes….yes…..it's…its's………IT'S ALIVE!" cried Mario. The whole body lifted itself, opening its eyes for the very first time. "I shall call you, Ganondorf-Stein!"

"RAAAAAAA!!" cried the monstrous figure.

* * *

(The Exorcist)

The priest slowly walked up the stairs. The family requested for his assistance. Their daughter was feeling worse than she was before. It was like she was possessed by the devil. Carrying a bible and a cross around the neck, the priest approached the door. As he opened the door, a foul and disgusting odor met his nose. It was barely tolerable for a person to stay here.

Upon the bed, he found a girl tied to the bed. She was the daughter of the family. Indeed, she was hideous beyond recognition. Her hair was a mess, her face was really pale, and the eyes weren't normal at all.

"Well, hello Peach. Do you know who I am?"

"Go burn in hell and join me!" yelled Peach in a low tone and demonizing way.

"That's not very nice of you. For introductions, I am Father Pit. I'm here to rid of your spirit so Peach can be free."

"Why don't you take that bible and shove it up your a-!"

"Do you know what this is?" said Father Pit as he took out small vial.

"What is it?" said Peach as she feared for the worst.

"This is holy water. I have here."

"Why don't you stick you cck up her ass, you mother fin c&ck sucker!"

Pit splashed some holy water on Peach. She cried in agony and wreathed in pain. Pit got out his bible and started reading it. "Let us pray. O' Holy Lord, O' Mighty Father, O Everlasting God, Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, who gave to your holy apostle the power to tramp underfoot serpents and scorpions. Grant me, your unworthy servant

pardon for all my sins..."

The bed shook up and down. The demonized Peach screamed in pain.

"….and the powers to confront this cruel demon." Pit reaches into for his necklace. The figure of a cross was shown in silvery jewelry. "See the cross of the Lord. Be gone fowl beast. O' Lord hear my prayer."

Peach screams at the top of her lungs, "You shall die and rot in hell!"

"I CAST YOU OUT, UNCLEAN SPIRIT!"

"Shove it up your ass, you faggot!"

"In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is he who commands you! He who flung you from the heights of Heaven to the depths of hell!"

"F&K HIM!" cried Peach

"Be gone!! In the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the Holy Spirit!! By this sign of the holy cross, of our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with the father and the holy spirit…."

Peach stands upright and turns her head in a complete 360 degree. She throws up many times, roaring in an utter voice.

"…BE GONE FROM THIS CREATURE OF GOD!" cried lastly the voice of Pit.

Silence broadened over the room as Peach fell into a deep slumber. "My work here is done."

* * *

(Snakes on a Plane)

People were screaming for their lives and panicking 5000 feet above the ground. The snakes bit so many people and many lost their lives. Some escaped to the top floor of the plane.

Capt. Falcon got up. He was pissed about the snakes that were released on the plane.

"We are going to get rid of these snakes. I'm going to break the windows to suck out all the snakes. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER F&IN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER F&IN PLANE!!"

* * *

(The Birds)

Zelda walked out of her house and there she saw a Falco. It was staring at her, not moving an inch. Then, two more Falcos flew next to the first one. They all stared at Zelda. Zelda saw 3 more Falcos on a telephone line. More Falcos landed there. When she tried to walk back into the house, there were a group of Falcos surrounding her door. She couldn't get back in her house.

She overlooked the town and found out that it was overrun by a horde of Falcos. Zelda silently and slowly walked away from the group of Falcos. Suddenly, she knocked over a flower pot, creating a huge noise. The Falcos all flew up and circled Zelda. She immediately ran into town trying to find shelter.

The closest thing she could find was a telephone booth. She quickly got inside before a Falco could get her. Many Falcos crashed into the phone booth. One of them created a crack in the window. Zelda frantically panicked trying to find help. There she saw a man who was attacked by 3 Falcos. They pecked his head, causing him a severe amount a blood. The guy fell down; more Falcos over swarmed the guy.

Zelda watched in horror over the death of that guy. Slowly, Zelda sat down in feeble position waiting until the Falcos would just disappear.

* * *

(After the Show)

Ike: Can't believe I was in a freakin Falco costume

Samus: Me too

Link: So where is the real Falco anyway?

(_Link, Ike , Samus unmasked many Falco costumes, but to no luck, they were just the other people_)

Ike: Okay Falco. We give up, where are you?

Falco: Here I am guys

Link: How can we tell you're the real Falco?

Falco: Huh?

Link: (_went over and pulled on Falco's head_) nice try Falco, or should I say- Zelda?

Zelda: Yeah, you caught me.

Samus: But if you're in there, then who played you?

(_Another Zelda comes up, then another, then another. The four people were surrounded by horde of Zeldas. They the hundred Zeldas' eyes grew red all of a sudden_.)

Link, Samus, Ike: AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!

* * *

**A/N: Spooky show. Anyways I was originally going to put this chapter up on Halloween, but then I thought 'That's too long to wait.' So give out more ideas.**


	7. Fairy Tales

Ness: I can't seem to go to sleep, brother.

Lucas: Me neither.

Ness: I wish someone could read us a bedtime story.

Lucas: Like some fairy tales.

??: I can help you with that.

Ness: Who could that be?

Peach: It is I, your fairy godsister.

Lucas: Don't you mean our fairy godmoth-

Peach (_punches a hole in a wall right by Lucas's head_) Sorry, but I'm not that old to be a mother (_said with a nice smile_)

Lucas: O…o..k.kay…fairy godsister.

Peach: That's much better. I have this very big book of fairy tales to read to you kids

Kids: Yay!

Ness: Can you tell us about the history of the Pangea?

Peach: Huh?

Lucas: What about the Evolution vs. Christian Theory?

Peach: Wuh?

Ness: Or how about where babies come fr-

Peach: ENOUGH!! Man, what school do you go to? I'm here to read you some fairy tales.

Lucas. That's it?

Ness: Kinda boring

Peach: Just shut up and listen to me read, goddamit!

**Ch.8 Fairy Tales**

(Hansel & Gretel)

Once upon a time, there were two children who lived in a small cabin with their parents. They were Popo and Nana. The parents didn't have enough to feed their young kids, so they led them into the middle of the forest where they abandoned them. Luckily, Hansel made a trail of bread to lead them back into the house, but that failed. For the birds ate the trail of bread. Nana and Popo were lost until they came upon the most wonderful thing that happened in their life.

"A house made of candy!?" said the ice climbers. They were both amazed and exhilarated by it. So they started eating eating the house. It was as delicious as it was ever expected.

"Who's been gnawing on my house?" said a meek voice from inside the house. A shadow then opened the door to reveal an old lady. Her name was Zelda. She was nice as she appeared. "Oh my, children. Would you like to come inside and have a feast?"

"Yes!" so they went inside to enjoy more scrumptious and delicious pastries. Little did they know, she had an ulterior plan in mind. She took the children and threw them in cages.

"Hey what gives?" cried Papa.

"I'm planning to have a pie……a pie filled with children. Bwah hahaha!" laughed Zelda evilly.

"You Bitch!" Zelda stuck her tongue at him.

Zelda was really old and really hungry, so needed some help. "You, girl in pink…..damn are you hot in that coat? Never mind about that. I need you to chop firewood." Nana did as she was told. She chopped up the wood into smaller pieces. Zelda turned her back to put the firewood into the fireplace. This was Nana's chance to destroy her. She took her hammer and smashed Zelda in the head, she then fell unconscious. Nana immediately freed Popo.

"Yay! We're freed!" Nana said happily. "So what are we going to do with her?" as she pointed to the unconscious Zelda.

"I have something planned for her." said a sadistic Popo.

In the big uptown New York City, Zelda was sold, against her will, into slavery for some rich dude. Nana and Popo were paid much to their pleasure. They used the money to open their very own casino, scammed a lot of people, and lived happily ever after.

* * *

(Little Red Riding Hood)

In a small forest, there was a young teenage girl wearing a red cape and hood, carrying a basket of goodies and treats. She was going to take this basket to her dearly sick grandmother. Her name was Little Red Suit Samus.

"Damn, I'm too old for this sht!" said Samus. This was a very rude thing for a little girl to say at her age.

"Hey Narrorator! You should mind your own business"

"And you should stop breaking the fourth wall."

"….."

And so Samus was on her merrily way to grandma's house, but suddenly she was stopped. Along came a suspicious Fox, who goes by the name Fox. How unoriginal.

"I'm Fox the fox, so what's in the basket, toots." said Fox.

"This is a basket for my grandma, and call me toots one more time, I'll break your nose."

"Hey, hey, don't be mad. I was just asking." Fox then had a great plan in mind. "You know what will make your grandma really happy?"

"What?" said an impatient Samus.

"There's a meadow over on the other side of the forest."

"But I have no time to go there. I have to go drop this off this basket to my grandma's house. Then, I have to go home, so I won't miss my soap drama on TV.

"…Uh..yeah….Don't worry. I'll take that basket to your grandma." said the menacing Fox who couldn't be trusted.

"Thanks. Your're a really nice fox that could be trusted. Here you go, just follow the path until you see a log cabin."

"Okay will do." Fox then ran off while Samus went to pick some flowers. Fox ate every goodies in the basket. He planned on eating the grandma and Samus. This was all going perfectly for him. He finally arrived at the log cabin. "Anyone ho-LY CRAP! SHE'S HUGE!" screamed Fox as he pointed at that huge old lady.

"Is that you Samus?" said Grandma Dedede. "Did you bring me my basket full of chocolate laxatives?"

"Wait of minute those wer-OOOOHHHH MY STOMACHE!" cried Fox. He went to the nearest bathroom.

Meanwhile, Samus was picking up the most beautiful flowers for her grandma. "Hmmm, this purple flower would look nice, but I don't think this yellow flower will match in here. This rose might bring out too much color. Maybe I should-WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE!?" yelled Samus as she threw the bouquet on the ground. "I was totally tricked. I'm going to kill that bastard." She then sprinted off to her grandma's house.

At Grandma's house, Fox finally got out, "Man, that felt great. Now where were we." Fox didn't feel like eating a 200 pound old penguin. So he thought it was best to just push her out the window. Fox then dessed into Grandma Dedede's nightgown and got into bed.

Suddenly, the door flew right open

"Grandma, has a fox came by here, yet." Yelled Samus.

"Nope, not at all." said Fox, pretending to sound old.

"Grandma, what big nose you have?" said Samus.

"All the better to smell you with." said Fox.

"That's just perverted. Grandma, what big ears you have?"

"All the better to hear your manly voice."

Samus then punched Fox in the face. "Grandma, what's….what's that smell?"

"Just ignore it. It'll pass away."

"Grandma, what big teeth you have?"

"All the better to EAT YOU WITH!" Fox then launched himself on Samus, but she dodged it. They were about to have an awesome battle, but the narrorator didn't feel like reading 20 more pages of worthless fighting. So Samus beat Fox and saved her Grandma.

"What the hell! That was supposed to be the greatest fight ever."

Too bad. They all lived happily ever after.

* * *

Peach: The End

Lucas: What the hell was that?

Peach: Whatever do you mean?

Ness: That wasn't the original story at all.

Peach: This book was on sale. Okay! Deal with it.

Ness: We're not going to sleep until we get a proper bedtime story.

Lucas: Yeah, you old lady. Tell us a bett-

Peach: (_knocked both boys unconscious with her fists_) Goodnight and sweet dreams boys. _(she then flew off into the night sky, going to another children's house to read some fairy tales to._)

* * *

**A/N: Peach has got to be the worst fairy Godmoth-er-sister. Anyway, this was a pretty good one. Please review. Thanks for reading. Next Chapter: Cooking w/ Zelda & Magic w/ Mario.**


End file.
